Another bizarre website about the human condition: Bowel Movement
Real excerpts from the site:
Rectum Hurts after Bowel Movement
If your rectum hurts after a bowel movement, it means one of four things:
- you just launched an anus-stretching, rectum-thrashing, colon-tearing gigantic, epic turd
- those hot peppers you ate last night are finally catching up with you
- your butt hole already hurt before you took the crap
Perhaps the question is really, “what bowel movement ISN’T smelly?” Poop, much like farts, butt holes, outhouses, and used toilet paper, simply doesn’t smell good. If a bowel movement doesn’t smell, maybe its because your nose is plugged.
No Bowel Movements After Surgery
A lack of bowel movement following a surgical procedure may be related to one of the following causes:
- based on not eating for several days, you simply have no food to poop
- butt hole accidentally sewn shut during surgery
- large intestine accidentally re-routed to your brain
um…