Fred’s Golf Cart Wreck

The minister asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express Praise for answered prayers. A lady stood up and walked to the podium.

She said, “I have a Praise. Two months ago, my husband Fred had a terrible golf cart wreck and his scrotum was completely crushed. The pain was excruciating and the doctors didn’t know if they could help him.” You could hear a muffled gasp from the men in the congregation as they imagined the pain that poor Fred must have experienced.

“Fred was unable to hold me or the children,” she went on, “and every move caused him terrible pain. We prayed as the doctors performed a delicate operation, and it turned out they were able to piece together the crushed remnants of his scrotum, and inserted 20 loops of thick, tough titanium wire throughout it to hold it in place.”

Again, the men in the congregation were unnerved and squirmed uncomfortably as they imagined the terrible surgery performed on Fred. “Now,” she announced in a quavering voice, thank the Lord, Fred is out of the hospital and the doctors say that with time, his scrotum should recover completely.” All the men sighed with relief. The ashen-faced minister rose and tentatively asked if anyone else had something to say.

A man stood up and walked slowly to the podium. He said, “I’m Fred.” The entire congregation held its breath. “I just want to tell my wife that the word is ‘sternum’.”

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